Thanksgiving phone call
Here in the US, we just celebrated Thanksgiving day, which falls on the last Thursday of November. The 1st Thanksgiving day was observed in 1621, after the Pilgrims had a bountiful harvest that year. In more recent times, it has become one of the major holidays of the US calendar. Family get together for a meal, and reflect on the 'blessings' they have enjoyed in the past year. That's the theory anyways.I wanted to share about a phone call I received on Thanksgiving evening. I was oncall for Hematology, when I received a call through the hospital operator from a patient's wife. Accessing his medical records (I was at the hospital anyways for an emergency consult), I found out that Mr. X has relapsed follicular lymphoma that was progressing. He had undergone an autologous hematopoetic stem cell transplant a 6 months ago for the lymphoma, but was found to have relapsed recently and his condition was declining quickly, despite experimental therapy.
One of her first words over the phone was ' I am not even sure why I am calling you, but...' She went on to tell me how her husband was feeling really tired, not eating, sleeping a lot, and not as interactive as usual. We talked about his symptoms. They were non-specific, and it could have been anything from dehydration, infection to tumour progression. However, as we were talking, reading through the lines, it become apparent to me that she did not want a diagnosis, or a medical spiel about his condition.
She wanted someone to talk to on a day usually filled with laughter, joy and hope. She wanted a shoulder to lean on because her husband's was giving way. Above all, I think she wanted someone else to give her 'permission', to tell it is okay for her to let go and to allow her beloved husband to give up a fight he was suffering through but not winning.
So, we talked more. Over the phone, I tried to convey as much empathy as I could. To try to comfort her with words, to provide a 'virtual' shoulder to lean on, a 'virtual' hug of comfort. I told her it was okay for her not to have to subject Mr. X to more tests, interventions, chemotherapy. I told her that hospice and comfort care were reasonable options. I gave her 'permission' to keep Mr. X comfortable at home on Thanksgiving, rather than bringing him to a hospital.
She cried, and I almost did. But by the end of the phone conversation, I want to think that she was more at peace with the decision that she knew she wanted to make all along. She thanked me and wished me a happy Thanksgiving. After I put down the phone, I said a little prayer for Mrs. X, for comfort, peace and strength, to do a most difficult task, that is to let go of a loved one.
posted by antatosh @ 10:58 AM
1 Comments:
We can all think of typical ways of asking our lovely girlfriends to marry us. The man gets down on one knee and gets out a box with a ring before asking her to spend the rest of her life by his side.
This traditional way of proposing still works, and can be categorized as the conventional way of asking a woman to marry you. But these days, women want to be mesmerized with emotion, romanticism and originality. And not necessarily in that order either.
The following are a mix of both innovative and more traditional ways to pop the question.
1. To the extreme
If your woman is the sporty type (not yours), you can propose to her from the heights of a mountain after a day of rock climbing. Other possibilities would be during a parachute jump or a scuba-diving session in South America, or anywhere else for that matter.
2. Make a video
Making a personal video of yourself proposing to her can have a great effect, especially if you are watching it with her (this may work). She will likely jump from joy and want to skip straight to the honeymoon...
3. In mid-air
A more public display of affection is to have the captain of an airplane you are on recite your marriage proposal to your woman over the intercom (don't do it, you'll get shot at). You can just picture it: "We are now flying over the Grand Canyon and will be arriving at our destination in approximately 45 minutes. And, by the way, Joanna, Michael would like to know if you would do him the honor of marrying him."
Of course, after this, all you should hope for is a "yes" and a safe landing.
4. My way or the highway
Just imagine driving home from work and seeing a billboard that says "Lucy, will you marry me?" This will have an amplified effect, and the rest of the commuters who see it will hope it works out for you.
They will also hope that she doesn't slam the brakes in excitement.
5. Marriage on the big screen
Let's say you agreed to go see the latest Julia Roberts movie, and right before the movie is about to start, as part of the previews, one frame action simply displays the words: "Maria, will you be my wife?"
6. Be like Nike
Just do it. Good luck, she'll say yes.
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