Random ramblings of an Oncology trainee

Sense of wonderment

Been wanting to starting blogging for some time now.. just didn't know where to start. Never really kept a journal growing up, not consistently for any real length of time anyways..

Anyways.. Just as I am about to embark on a new phase in my training (a clinical fellowship in Medical Oncology / Hematology), a sense of wonderment came over me.. 'What am I doing here?' I suppose the real question is how did an ordinary guy from a small town in Malaysia end up working as a physician in one of the largest academic medical centers in the US.. I wonder myself..

'Was I smarter..?' I don't think so.. 'Was I more hardworking..?' Definitely not.. 'Was I lucky..?' I don't believe in luck.. 'Do I deserve it..?' No.. then 'What was it..?', I asked myself..

I am blessed.. blessed with parents that were willing to make sacrifices that allowed me to make it to medical school abroad.. Not just financial sacrifices, but lifelong sacrifices from the day I was born.. The sacrifice of time, finances, career, energy.. etc.. The time spent to nurtue, support, teach, talk to, advise, encourage, play with, travel together and role model was not spent in vain. Big and small sacrifices that through the years molded and shaped my thoughts and character.. Because of it all, I have become the person I am today, and I look back at my formative years with gratitude..

I am blessed.. blessed with friends that were willing to help, support and encourage me to achieve my dreams, even though they may have seemed a little out-of-reach.. friends that I have turned to for comfort and advice, for companionship and friendship..

I am blessed.. blessed with teachers and mentors who could see beyond the obvious to look for potential and were willing to invest the time to provide guidance and good advice..

I am blessed.. blessed with God's grace and good health that has allowed me to devote my energies to pursuing my dreams..

In summary, I am where I am because I have been blessed.. I do not know the reason that I was blessed with this opportunity, but one day I will find out.. and I pray that at that time of reckoning I will be found adequate.. and willing to put all the sacrifices that my parents, family, friends and teachers to good use.. and that their investments in me will be fruitful and worthwhile..

posted by antatosh @ 12:18 PM